Category Archives: Humor

WHAT TO DO WHEN AWAKENING TO A POST THANKSGIVING DEPRESSION.

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What to do When Awakening to A Post Thanksgiving Depression.

1. Go to the refrigerator. Place your head into the freezer and breathe deeply five times. The negative ions will perk you up.

2. Take a shower. Splashing drops of water create negative ions which will perk you up.

3. Sit down at the breakfast table and say “Thank You”. (and mean it). If you don’t know who you said that to, don’t fret, it doesn’t matter. Eat breakfast and breathe deeply and exhale before each bite.

4. As you wash the breakfast dishes, clean the dirty edges around the kitchen sink or take a mop to the kitchen floor; do one quick chore which was not in your plan.

5. Go about your day. If you find yourself looking down, raise your eyes and look for the eyes of another, peer into them and say “Hi, how’s it goin’ “ (and mean it).

6. When you go to bed say “Thank You” (and mean it). If you don’t know who you said that to, don’t fret, it doesn’t matter.


What to do When Awakening to A Day Filled With Sunshine.

1. Same as above.

By Lee Broom.

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THE BEGGAR AND THE BUSINESS MAN

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He appears from the darkness in silence; He may have been there for hours.

Like the minute hand on my Omega, I failed to notice him at first.

“Hello”.

I speak; he glares.

“Hello”

The tattered apparition holds his gaze.

“May I pass please?” I attempt to move around him. “I beg of you please, may I pass?”

He remains silent. His eyes hold mine. What are they telling me? He’s wearing a badly soiled, well-tailored, senatorially pinstriped suit, crafted apparently for a taller man in a different time, most certainly a better defined neighborhood. His attire assumes a sadness; a life of poverty? Perhaps a recently downgraded lifestyle forced upon him by difficult times?

I step to my right – he steps to his left.

“Please” I implored, “My lunch hour is over. I need to get back to my desk.” Neither a minute flick of lash nor hint of furrowed brow.

I breathe deeply and attempt to relax the imagined lines in my forehead. He remains implacable; an immovable stoic with an unknown plan. What does he have on his mind. His left hand is hidden in the left trouser pocket where gentlemen account for their coins. Is he holding a weapon? A switch-blade?

I move to the left – he to the right.

“Are you hungry? There is a warm dinner roll in my doggie bag. I had one of these for lunch; delicious. I think you’ll enjoy it.”

I raised the offering; no response.

I deke to the right and quickly left. Had I been wearing a weathered, fifty year-old, hand tailored, poorly fitting suit I might have thought for a moment that I was dancing at a street corner, practicing moves before a mirror.

Mulling momentarily: “How much to cross the street?”

“Fifty Cents”: I offer a dollar; his left hand withdraws from the left trouser pocket and places two quarters into my open palm.

The disheveled entrepreneur steps to his left.

The light turns green.

As I cross the street, I scold myself. “I was the beggar; that man in the dirty ragged suit was a succesful businessman.”

WHAT TO DO WHEN AWAKENING TO A POST THANKSGIVING DEPRESSION.

220px-Schimpanse_zoo-leipig

What to do When Awakening to A Post Thanksgiving Depression.

1. Go to the refrigerator. Place your head into the freezer and breathe deeply five times. The negative ions will perk you up.

2. Take a shower. Splashing drops of water create negative ions which will perk you up.

3. Sit down at the breakfast table and say “Thank You”. (and mean it). If you don’t know who you said that to, don’t fret, it doesn’t matter. Eat breakfast and breathe deeply and exhale before each bite.

4. As you wash the breakfast dishes, clean the dirty edges around the kitchen sink or take a mop to the kitchen floor; do one quick chore which was not in your plan.

5. Go about your day. If you find yourself looking down, raise your eyes and look for the eyes of another, peer into them and say “Hi, how’s it goin’ “ (and mean it).

6. When you go to bed say “Thank You” (and mean it). If you don’t know who you said that to, don’t fret, it doesn’t matter.


What to do When Awakening to A Day Filled With Sunshine.

1. Same as above.

By Lee Broom.

Great Minds (Rarely)

Great minds rarely think alike.

Small minds twiddle their thumbs and puzzle over which great minds to emulate.

Einstein was not much good at math.

Edison couldn’t punctuate.

I just noticed that I can twiddle my thumbs while typing. That’s because I only use two fingers to tap away on the keyboard. Thirty five words a minute. How great is that?

Lee Broom wrote and posted “Great Minds” at  http://amorphologyologyism.wordpress.com/2011/12/20/great-minds/

Great Minds (Rarely)

Great minds rarely think alike.

Small minds twiddle their thumbs and puzzle over which great minds to emulate.

Einstein was not much good at math.

Edison couldn’t punctuate.

I just noticed that I can twiddle my thumbs while typing. That’s because I only use two fingers to tap away on the keyboard. Thirty five words a minute. How great is that?

Lee Broom wrote and posted “Great Minds” at  http://amorphologyologyism.wordpress.com/2011/12/20/great-minds/

HOW VS WHAT REVEALS NOUGHT

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When I was running assertiveness classes during The Eighties, one of the phrases that my partner and I encouraged our members to include in conversation was “What I hear you saying is…”
We spoke often of two groups who view the world differently and the difference is…
Group A views life as HOW it works.
Group B views life as WHAT works.
HOW comes with solutions and understanding. Those who ask HOW find answers and grow. Those who ask How rarely quote others and they usually appear to understand what they are learning.
Those who ask What tend to immobilize themselves. They seem frozen in time with no way to move forward. They rely heavily on group information and often quote those who support their claims. Their leaders may be students of logic but often twist the method, thereof, to prove pre-decided assumptions (not to be confused with conclusions).
When a WHAT person talks with a HOW person they are inclined to interpret what is being said because they live in a world of WHATEVERS, the components of which may or not be related.
An effective account manager whether a WHATEVERET or a HOWCOMERBY can improve their business relationships with feeding back to their client what they believe they are hearing.
“How’s that again? I’m sorry, What’s that you said?”

Great Minds (Rarely)

Great minds rarely think alike.

Small minds twiddle their thumbs and puzzle over which great minds to emulate.

Einstein was not much good at math (or so they say).

Edison couldn’t punctuate. (Couldn’t or didn’t?)

I just noticed that I can twiddle my thumbs while typing. That’s because I only use two fingers to tap away on the keyboard. Thirty five words a minute. How great is that?

(I think I have another book here.)

Lee Broom.